Hi
family...yes all of you - all of you are family.
My home
is here. This is where I found who I am. This is where I found what life is all about - what eternity is all about.
This is where I found my personal
relationship with the Savior. The
time has come to an end. Whoa...It has gone by faster than anything I have ever been a part of in my life. If
life goes by like this, there
isn't much time. The mission was very long going through it, but looking back it seems like a fleeting dream.
I cannot lie. I am very sad. I want more. I want
more of this. I never dreamed that
happiness to this intensity existed. Every day I wake up, the more poignant it has become. I have come to love
so many people. Children. Of. God.
We are all brothers and sisters. I could do this the rest of my life.
There is
a deep understanding of life that comes from being blessed to be able to serve a mission. You are lifted from the
world. No TV. No internet. No
phones. No news. No music. No rest. Praying 20+ times per day. Studying the scriptures for 2 hours. Going
into homes that are in the worst
possible situations. Seeing things you only see in movies right in front of your face. You show these
people how what we call "the
gospel of Jesus Christ" can change their lives. But you don't really know how it will. You've never been in
their situations. Then as it does,
you start to change yourself. As you share the same message with another family in the same situation, you
then see it work for
them. You
literally see people who get so low, where there is no possible
way out of their problems. They hit so low, that the only way back up is through. Through pain. Through change. Through repentance. Through
forgiveness. Into Hope. Into Light. Into Happiness. Into Bliss. But it's help that only heaven can give. Your
mind is never distracted from anything but
reality. You start to forget the
past. You lose your worries of the future. You see in a very unexplainable way what truly matters eternally -
Eternity. You feel
it. It becomes you. You obsess over it, because you feel yourself finally coming in touch with reality. You
feel pure, flowing joy. True
reality. Not reality that we create in our heads. Not a reality that's drawing from others in society through
the many distractions in the
world. The true reality of life. It becomes you and changes the very fibers of what makes you, you.
It's from heaven. You walk around
in the ghettos of the Bronx and Harlem, yet you are living in Heaven.
You see a
lot of things. Things you don't want to see. Things I can't talk about now. A lot of broken homes. You see how the
Gospel of Jesus Christ fixes
everything.
I have
come to love working. I love planning for the progress of these souls. I have come to love sweating outside in the 100
degree weather with full-on
humidity, tracting project buildings. I have come to love walking outside in 0 degree weather with humid wind
cutting through my clothes to my
soul as I talk to those who are left with no hope. I
have come to love everything. I have come to love hard situations. I have come to love Spanish. Oh, how I
love Spanish. I have come to love
rejection - it inspires me to be better. I have come to love spiritual experiences - they keep me in this
reality I am talking of.
I'm
looking back at the many experiences I have had on this mission that the Lord has blessed me with to be able to serve,
and nothing comes but tears. I
cannot express everything here. You will have to hear it from me in person. I am going to miss this place. I
have been taught how to have
charity. I have come to know and love these people here more than I have my own family. It is truly amazing to
be able to meet some of
these people, and as they express their life troubles to you, you begin to feel this rush (I say rush because
that is how intensely it comes) of
overwhelming love for them. They can be the most horrible people in the world, but you all of a
sudden know on a spiritual level
their potential. As they are telling you who they are, you in a very real way see who they can become. You
love them as if they were already
that person, and you start to see yourself in the same way. You start to see these people how God does. You
start to see you as He does.
Perhaps he gives us a little view or portion of the amount of love He has for them and the potential He sees they
have. As you love these people,
and as you watch them change their lives as they apply THE way in their life, you begin to understand
the vast amount of love that
Heavenly Father has for you. You understand on a spiritual level that you are a son or daughter of God.
He created you. You
weren't made to fail. You were made to be nothing but successful.
I have found this on a very real level. I am not
sure if I know anything else more
than this.
I have
come to fall in love with God's presence and the feeling of His spirit. I never want to do anything wrong ever again
in my life. But I know I will.
That's why I need Christ. I know He will always be there for me, even when I am not there for Him. I need Him.
I have
let him into my heart. I have worked for that, too. My mission has been anything
but easy. This mission is the hardest thing I have ever done in my entire life, hands down.
I have gone through a lot of different
and difficult things. But I let Him
in. As I have done so, He has taken away my pain, my sin, my sadness, and has replaced it daily
with increasing joy.
I
am extremely grateful for the time I have had to serve the Lord for two years. I
feel He has given me far more than I have given on the mission. That is the beauty of our relationship with a
loving Heavenly Father. He always
gives 100 fold of what we give. He has blessed me daily by being able to be tutored by Him through His
spirit as I have had both
great and sad/hard experiences out in the mission field. I have come to find such purpose and happiness. I had a
goal to find true happiness on my
mission. I can say laboring daily in helping others come to Christ, forgetting about what it is
that I desire, and seeing people
truly change their being as they let the Atonement of Jesus
Christ affect the very roots of their heart, has been happiness. It has not been easy. It has been quite honestly the
opposite of anything considered
easy. But, I feel as if the more difficult it has been, the more sweet the joyous times have turned out
to be. The great depths of sorrow
experienced only made those moments of elation that much more meaningful. In fact, it was probably those
moments of difficulty that even
made them possible to turn into joy. From the spiritual demands that are most common to that of a
missionary, as well as the many
emotional moments of shedding tears with those people you come to love with all your heart, you learn
to carry each other’s burdens. Through
sorrow, diligence, and many failed attempts
resulting in rejection have come those small moments where peace increased to
where it hit a point of happiness
that could be considered bliss, moments that only heaven could bring.
You
meet people and love them so much that it's impossible to say you did not know
them before this life. They were my friends before.
I could
spend all eternity telling you what I have learned on my mission. I will just have to show you.
I am not
the same person anymore. Not even close. Don't expect the same. I am better. I am stronger. I am living a
completely different life now.
It's all because of the Savior. He has changed my heart and has created me into something that I never dreamed I
COULD become. This is just the
beginning. I can never be the same
after this. I have come to find
myself. I have come to find MY Savior. I can call him "mine," because I know him now. He's
changed everything. The future is
the brightest thing in the world. God has given me a glimpse of Heaven so I know what to live for. Because of the love and grace of the Savior, I don't
have to be what I have been. I
never do.
Honestly,
every time I think it can't get better, it somehow does.
I found
myself.
He found
me.
I found
Him.
&
I Found
My Friends.
- Elder
Austin Celaya
